How to avoid arguments
Avoiding arguments
Do you find yourself constantly arguing with your partner, spouse, parents, friends?
Do you want an effective way of easing your life? Read on…
This article is not about some miracle new cure for your temperament. It is an article aimed to make you step back form your life and become aware of certain things.
Most arguments are caused by “emotions”
A very wise man said “control your emotions to control your life”. This is so true in so many aspects of life. Most, if not all arguments are caused/aggravated due to you being unable to control your emotions.
How can you control your emotions, when you are angry? Good question. One’s normal answer would be if one is angry, they are angry and nothing can be done about it.
Ok, let’s go back a few steps. Look back at some of the arguments you have had recently. Could they have been avoided? Especially if you took certain considerations into account?
Emotional triggers
Certain things are “motional triggers” which can launch you into a full scale argument at certain times. Pay attention to these:
• Are you tired? Tiredness is a MAJOR cause of the start and expansion of an argument. Take it as gospel that if you are tired, you are more likely to start, aggravate or continue an argument. If you know that you or your partner/friend/relative are tired, shut your mouth and don’t start anything. Chances are, when the tiredness goes, all will be fine and something which is a simple matter, remains a simple matter. Carrying on when one is tired is recipe for an argument. Keep your eye out for tiredness in your partner and if you see they are tired, stay away from emotional issues and don’t prod them. If you are tired, keep a low profile
• Are you hungry? Many people are more moody and impatient when they are hungry. If this is you or your partner, then it is very wise to keep an eye on your diet at all times and make sure you eat regularly. If you or your partner are hungry, don’t answer back and look for an argument. Eat first and you will find that a simple point which seemed like a major point when you (or your partner) were hungry has gone back to being a simple point again.
• Hormonal issues – This applies specifically to women and specifically around “that time of the month”. This is not a sexist statement, just a fact. Women are not much in charge of their emotions at this time and it is best to not “prod” them and look for trouble. Be a little patient and tolerant and give them some space for a few days.
Going over old issues or “no win” topics
Old issues are a favourite “argument generator”. The chances are that if they were not resolved before, they won’t be resolved now. Why do they have to be resolved anyway? See if you can just let them be. People are different, complex beings and will not agree on everything – accept it and accept the fact that certain issues between people may not be resolved.
It is a good idea to stay away from discussions on religion, politics and generally things that are very subjective to the individual and everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Have some tolerance
Sometimes we get into a “role” and we carry on with it. Step back and relax. Relax and try letting certain things go. What’s the big deal anyway? Try it. Try having some tolerance and patience and remember this GOLDEN rule:
• By insisting your point and banging on about it, you will get LESS results.
I promise the above is 100% true and one of life’s rules. Believe it and try it. Next time you are having an argument and you want to bang on about your point to change the other person’s mind, try not to!
Gently mention your opinion and say something like: “Look this is what I believe. What you decide is up to you…”
Try some outside help
If you find that there are certain feelings and emotions that you really cannot control, try some Bach Flower Remedies. They are great for influencing the mind. For example, if you find that you are very impatient, try some “Impatience drops” for a few weeks – it will do wonders.
Do you find yourself constantly arguing with your partner, spouse, parents, friends?
Do you want an effective way of easing your life? Read on…
This article is not about some miracle new cure for your temperament. It is an article aimed to make you step back form your life and become aware of certain things.
Most arguments are caused by “emotions”
A very wise man said “control your emotions to control your life”. This is so true in so many aspects of life. Most, if not all arguments are caused/aggravated due to you being unable to control your emotions.
How can you control your emotions, when you are angry? Good question. One’s normal answer would be if one is angry, they are angry and nothing can be done about it.
Ok, let’s go back a few steps. Look back at some of the arguments you have had recently. Could they have been avoided? Especially if you took certain considerations into account?
Emotional triggers
Certain things are “motional triggers” which can launch you into a full scale argument at certain times. Pay attention to these:
• Are you tired? Tiredness is a MAJOR cause of the start and expansion of an argument. Take it as gospel that if you are tired, you are more likely to start, aggravate or continue an argument. If you know that you or your partner/friend/relative are tired, shut your mouth and don’t start anything. Chances are, when the tiredness goes, all will be fine and something which is a simple matter, remains a simple matter. Carrying on when one is tired is recipe for an argument. Keep your eye out for tiredness in your partner and if you see they are tired, stay away from emotional issues and don’t prod them. If you are tired, keep a low profile
• Are you hungry? Many people are more moody and impatient when they are hungry. If this is you or your partner, then it is very wise to keep an eye on your diet at all times and make sure you eat regularly. If you or your partner are hungry, don’t answer back and look for an argument. Eat first and you will find that a simple point which seemed like a major point when you (or your partner) were hungry has gone back to being a simple point again.
• Hormonal issues – This applies specifically to women and specifically around “that time of the month”. This is not a sexist statement, just a fact. Women are not much in charge of their emotions at this time and it is best to not “prod” them and look for trouble. Be a little patient and tolerant and give them some space for a few days.
Going over old issues or “no win” topics
Old issues are a favourite “argument generator”. The chances are that if they were not resolved before, they won’t be resolved now. Why do they have to be resolved anyway? See if you can just let them be. People are different, complex beings and will not agree on everything – accept it and accept the fact that certain issues between people may not be resolved.
It is a good idea to stay away from discussions on religion, politics and generally things that are very subjective to the individual and everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Have some tolerance
Sometimes we get into a “role” and we carry on with it. Step back and relax. Relax and try letting certain things go. What’s the big deal anyway? Try it. Try having some tolerance and patience and remember this GOLDEN rule:
• By insisting your point and banging on about it, you will get LESS results.
I promise the above is 100% true and one of life’s rules. Believe it and try it. Next time you are having an argument and you want to bang on about your point to change the other person’s mind, try not to!
Gently mention your opinion and say something like: “Look this is what I believe. What you decide is up to you…”
Try some outside help
If you find that there are certain feelings and emotions that you really cannot control, try some Bach Flower Remedies. They are great for influencing the mind. For example, if you find that you are very impatient, try some “Impatience drops” for a few weeks – it will do wonders.
