How to handle and manage stress
How to manage stress effectively in 3 easy steps…
Stress is an unavoidable part of life, well sort of. For the most part stress can be effectively managed and controlled, enough for it to not affect your life in any major negative way.
Don't worry about the past or the future
If you were to narrow down most of your stressful situations, a great majority of them will fall into "past" events or "future" events playing on your mind.
Think about you. You are either reminiscing about the past or worrying about some future event. If you could manage to live in the "present", most of your stress and worry would disappear.
Granted, there are some situations that you don't have much control over, such as the kids screaming, something not going your way, an accident, a loss and so on. In these scenarios, it is important for you to not let your emotions take hold of you.
Keep your emotions under control
One of the main causes why people get stressed is over-reaction to a trigger. If you can just stop for a minute and not let your emotions take control, you will find dealing with a stressful situation a lot easier.
Emotions are the main reason why a small (possibly) stressful trigger can turn into an out of control stressful event. Learning to control your emotions is a skill which needs to be learnt like any other skill. It needs to be practised and perfected, after which it becomes a habit and second nature.
For example, if your child spills some wine on your sofa, you have two choices.
1. You can start getting angry, want to punish them and make sure they never ever do it again (worrying about the future). All of these (emotions) will affect your reaction, their reaction and your subsequent mood and stress levels.
2. Second choice is not to let your emotions (anger, disappointment, worry) rule the situation. You can very easily think that the incident has now happened and is in the past, so in REAL terms, nothing can be done to undo it. Shouting and screaming is usually not a deterrent in such situations as chances are that it was an accident. So losing your temper will do absolutely nothing positive for them or for you. Take time out and DON'T say anything when your emotions are high.
Controlling your emotions and learning to give a different, more calm response to situations which normally stress you out can be a very effective tool for you - a lifelong tool.
Use visualisation
Visualisation is a powerful tool which is used by some of the most successful people in the world. By success, I don't mean in terms of monetary. Success can be within a relationship, at work or at play.
For example, if you find yourself starting to get moody or stressed, start visualising a time when you were happy or an event which made you happy. Change your posture, stance or physical position (walk around if sitting for example) and you will see an instant shift in mood.
Visualise happy times, remembers smells, images and feelings from happy times. If you can "learn" to switch from current to past "happy times" at the flick of a switch, you are on your way to controlling and alleviating many stressful situations.
Step out of your body. Use your mind to disassociate from yourself and view yourself as if you are in the same room, but at a distance. This is a very powerful tool for extremely stressful situations.
For example, if you are facing a fear situation or a crisis, close your eyes and image that you are not in your body but in the corner of the wall or a distance away and looking at the situation as a third party. Try it and see. This technique can have many uses in many situations.
There are stress triggers in every life situation. How much you get affected by it is up to you. Many people know some of the above techniques and can literally breeze through life with close to minimal stress. You can be one of them. Try it; the mind is ready to be reprogrammed.
Stress is an unavoidable part of life, well sort of. For the most part stress can be effectively managed and controlled, enough for it to not affect your life in any major negative way.
Don't worry about the past or the future
If you were to narrow down most of your stressful situations, a great majority of them will fall into "past" events or "future" events playing on your mind.
Think about you. You are either reminiscing about the past or worrying about some future event. If you could manage to live in the "present", most of your stress and worry would disappear.
Granted, there are some situations that you don't have much control over, such as the kids screaming, something not going your way, an accident, a loss and so on. In these scenarios, it is important for you to not let your emotions take hold of you.
Keep your emotions under control
One of the main causes why people get stressed is over-reaction to a trigger. If you can just stop for a minute and not let your emotions take control, you will find dealing with a stressful situation a lot easier.
Emotions are the main reason why a small (possibly) stressful trigger can turn into an out of control stressful event. Learning to control your emotions is a skill which needs to be learnt like any other skill. It needs to be practised and perfected, after which it becomes a habit and second nature.
For example, if your child spills some wine on your sofa, you have two choices.
1. You can start getting angry, want to punish them and make sure they never ever do it again (worrying about the future). All of these (emotions) will affect your reaction, their reaction and your subsequent mood and stress levels.
2. Second choice is not to let your emotions (anger, disappointment, worry) rule the situation. You can very easily think that the incident has now happened and is in the past, so in REAL terms, nothing can be done to undo it. Shouting and screaming is usually not a deterrent in such situations as chances are that it was an accident. So losing your temper will do absolutely nothing positive for them or for you. Take time out and DON'T say anything when your emotions are high.
Controlling your emotions and learning to give a different, more calm response to situations which normally stress you out can be a very effective tool for you - a lifelong tool.
Use visualisation
Visualisation is a powerful tool which is used by some of the most successful people in the world. By success, I don't mean in terms of monetary. Success can be within a relationship, at work or at play.
For example, if you find yourself starting to get moody or stressed, start visualising a time when you were happy or an event which made you happy. Change your posture, stance or physical position (walk around if sitting for example) and you will see an instant shift in mood.
Visualise happy times, remembers smells, images and feelings from happy times. If you can "learn" to switch from current to past "happy times" at the flick of a switch, you are on your way to controlling and alleviating many stressful situations.
Step out of your body. Use your mind to disassociate from yourself and view yourself as if you are in the same room, but at a distance. This is a very powerful tool for extremely stressful situations.
For example, if you are facing a fear situation or a crisis, close your eyes and image that you are not in your body but in the corner of the wall or a distance away and looking at the situation as a third party. Try it and see. This technique can have many uses in many situations.
There are stress triggers in every life situation. How much you get affected by it is up to you. Many people know some of the above techniques and can literally breeze through life with close to minimal stress. You can be one of them. Try it; the mind is ready to be reprogrammed.
