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How to tone your sarcasm down to become more liked!

In 1986, at one of my first jobs, my manager pulled me to the side and said: “Parham, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit”. I was then promptly fired!

The fact is that sarcasm is one of those things that can either serve you well or be a total blocker for many things - but quite often, to the sarcastic person, they don’t see it.

Sarcastic people can be very funny and they do attract a lot of attention and friends. They are often intelligent and well… funny.

However, sarcasm has another darker side. Sarcasm in its pure form is putting people or things down or making a comment for the sake of it or for the sake of attracting attention. It is a painful thing for me to say, because I am sarcastic! Or shall I say, I have been sarcastic all my life until recently - when I have tried to keep a lid on sarcasm in certain situations.

As funny as sarcastic remarks are, they can be hurtful especially if they are directed towards people. It’s one things saying “Oh what a great day!” when it’s pouring. It’s however quite a different thing to say “Oh, you did well!” when someone has in fact, messed something up!

If you are sarcastic and want to have less people hating you or talking behind your back and want to generally be more liked, you need to tone down sarcasm directed at people. The way to do this is a simple test below:

Just before you make your remarks or “observations”, run what you are going to say in your head and do the 10 second test. The 10 second test is: ask yourself whether after 10 seconds have passed, what you have said will still be perceived as funny. If it is not, then it is an unnecessary sarcastic remark that can best not be made. If it is, then it is a genuinely funny thing.

Why talk about this subject? Because when I work with sarcastic people in my mentoring, I find that they are not aware of the harm their sarcasm can do. Yes humour is great but there is a time and place for it and sarcastic people often don’t make that differentiation. By spending 10 minutes with sarcastic people, I help them become so much more likeable! Being more liked, means having more friends and getting a more positive response in all aspects of life such as in business or personal relationships.

Of course, you could choose not to care and just say what you want! It depends where you are in life.


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